Chinese Culture and Tradition: Courting a Chinese Girl

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Many gentlemen on Chnlove may want to know what Chinese people do when courting, especially when they are taken up with a Chinese girl, they even hope to treat her in a Chinese way. So today, we'd like to share transitional Chinese courting culture - though some have changed in modern society, we believe, some are still deeply affecting Chinese girls. Culture always goes to the bone!

Courting is far more indirect in Chinese culture than in most Western societies. Transitionally, Chinese relationships pass in several stages, usually lasting for a long period of time. An engagement, even lasts for several years and as far as marriage is concerned, it is viewed as a lifetime commitment.

The Friendly Beginning - Often the starting point of a Chinese relationship is a friendly date. The couple will go out together in public places as friends only and will be accompanied by other friends. During this stage of courting there will be no public displays of affection, the man has to be discreet and friendly or he will be accused of being too arrogant. It is too early for kissing or holding hands at this point.

Discreet Chinese Dating - That is the second stage of Chinese courtship and now couples may go out together without the company of their friends, but again, the keyword here is "discreetly". Chinese women cannot afford to be fast, they are expected to be hard to get because it is seen as an appropriate behavior when they are courted. A Chinese girl never shows her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately.

Playing hard to get is one way by which the Chinese can measure the sincerity of the man interested in her. It also lets her show the man that he has to work hard to win her love. Some courtships may last for years before the woman accepts her admirer's love and they become a term for boyfriend-girlfriend.

Taking the Relationship Public - After some time the couple may decide to come out in the open about their romance. At this time they will inform their family and friends about their relationship. Every man who wants to be taken seriously by a Chinese is obliged to visit her family and introduce himself formally to her parents. It is rather inappropriate to court a Chinese girl and formalize the relationship without informing the girl's parents.

There is a tacit rule here that says: "When courting the Asian you are not courting just her, you are courting the entire family". Following this rule will help you earn her respect by entrusting her family with high regard.

There are certain traditions that have to be observed when visiting the Chinese's family. For example, if the man wants to be acceptable to the girl's family, he has to give small gifts every time he drops by her family's house. Then after being a couple with your Chinese girl for quite a time and decide to get married, you should do is ask the girl's parents for her hand.

When courting a Chinese woman you will find that she is shy and reserved even when holding great feelings for you. This is a part of her culture and even for a Western man there is no way around that. You should treat your Chinese girl with respect, lead the courtship with your heart and you may find a lifetime partner that will enrich your life as you have never imagined.

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Chinese Culture & Tradition : Dragon Boat Festival

Do you know that next Monday (6th June, 2011) is Chinese Dragon Boat Festival? Officially on falling on the fifth day of the fifth lunar month, the Dragon Boat Festival is also known as Double Fifth Day. This is a transitional festival with a hitory of more than 2, 000 years, commemorates the death of a great Chinese national hero and China's earliest poets, Qu Yuan, who drowned himself in the river over 2,000 years ago to protest against the corrupt rulers.

Legend of the Dragon Boat Festival's Origin
At the end of the Zhou Dynasty, the area we now know as China had fallen into a state of fragmentation and conflict. While the Zhou dynasty had ruled for several centuries, several other states, originally feudal domains, tried to carve out their own kingdoms. The state of Qin would eventually emerge the victor and unify all of China under one rule for the first time in history.

Qu Yuan served as minister to the Zhou Emperor. A wise and articulate man, he was loved by the common people. He did much to fight against the rampant corruption that plagued the court-- thereby earning the envy and fear of other officials. Therefore, when he urged the emperor to avoid conflict with the Qin Kingdom, the officials pressured the Emperor to have him removed from service. In exile, he traveled, taught and wrote for several years. Hearing that the Zhou had been defeated by the Qin, he fell into despair and threw himself into the Milou River. His last poem reads:

Many a heavy sigh I have in my despair,
Grieving that I was born in such an unlucky time,
I yoked a team of jade dragons to a phoenix chariot,
And waited for the wind to come,
to sour up on my journey

As he was so loved by the people, fishermen rushed out in long boats, beating drums to scare the fish away, and throwing zong zi into the water to feed braver fish so that they would not eat Qu Yuan's body.

The Modern Dragon Boat Festival


Dragon Boat

 Starting from that time to this day, people commemorate Qu Yuan through Dragon Boat Races, eating zong zi, and several other activities, on the anniversary of his death: the fifth day of the fifth lunar month.
Dragon Boat races are the most exciting part of the festival, drawing crowds of spectators. Dragon Boats are generally brightly painted and decorated canoes. Ranging anywhere from 40 to 100 feet in length, their heads are shaped like open-mouthed dragons, while the sterns end with a scaly tail. Depending on the length, up to 80 rowers can power the boat. A drummer and flag-catcher stand at the front of the boat. Before a dragon boat enters competition, it must be "brought to life" by painting the eyes in a sacred ceremony. Races can have any number of boats competing, with the winner being the first team to grab a flag at the end of the course. Annual races take place all over China, Hong Kong, Macao, Taiwan, and other overseas Chinese communities.

Zong Zi

zong zi

Zongzi is an essential food of the Dragon Boat Festival. In early times, it was only glutinous rice dumplings wrapped in reed or other plant leaves and tied with colored thread, but now the fillings are more diversified, including jujube and bean paste, fresh meat, and ham and egg yolk. If time permits, people will soak glutinous rice, wash reed leaves and wrap up zongzi themselves. Otherwise, they will go to shops to buy whatever stuff they want. The custom of eating zongzi is now popular in North and South Korea, Japan and Southeast Asian nations.

Talisman and Charms
On Dragon Boat Festival, parents also need to dress their children up with a perfume pouch. They first sew little bags with colorful silk cloth, then fill the bags with perfumes or herbal medicines, and finally string them with silk threads. The perfume pouch will be hung around the neck or tied to the front of a garment as an ornament. They are said to be able to ward off evil.

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BTW, in China, we will have a public holiday on Dragon Boat Festival, so this weekend will be a big weekend (includes Saturday, Sunday and Monday) for most Chinese women on Chnlove.

It will be a good chance if you want to have wonderful Love Call or Live Chat with these women. Of course, sending some gifts or flowers to please them in this transitional festival is also a good idea.

Live Chat Tips: Those Great Dating Conversation Starters

After Chnlove unveiled the Live Chat service, we often received inquiries from gentleman members on Live Chat conversation starters. They want to know online Chinese girls better but don’t know how to break the ice. Yes, first dates can always be troublesome because both the man and woman get nervous with each other. Even though you two might be perfect for each other, too much nonsense might get in the way and then make things seem bad. So here we will give 56 great open-ended questions that will help you start a good conversation and know Chinese girls more:

1. What was your best job?

Online Chinese Girls

2. What were your worst jobs?

3. Tell me all the places you worked.

4. Tell me about your best friend.

5. Tell me about your family.

6. Tell me about your relatives.

7. Who are your favorite music artists?

8. Who are your favorite movie stars?

9. Favorite song?

10. What were your life changing moments?

11. What is the dumbest thing you have ever done?

12. Do you like to shop?

13. Best way to relax?

14. Favorite thing to do alone?

15. Do you save money?

16. What hobbies to you spend money on?

17. If you found a $100 what would you do?

18. Do you want children/more children?

19. Are you a good parent?

20. What makes a good parent?

21. Are you romantic?

22. Do you have any pets?

23. Dog or cat?

24. Sleep in the nude?

25. Favorite midnight snack?

26. Have you ever gone skydiving (choose any sport or activity)?

27. What sports do you like watching?

28. What is your favorite type of food?

29. What is a food you can live without?

30. Favorite drink?

31. What date was your perfect day?

32. How many cds/dvds do you own?

33. What is the weirdest thing about you?

34. What is on your bedside table?

Online Chinese Girls

35. Are you cheap or thrifty?

36. Grades in high school?

37. Favorite teacher?

38. What are the most recent movies you've seen?

39. Worse movies you have ever seen?

40. Best concert you have been to?

41. Like beer, wine or coffee?

42. Best vacation?

43. If you could retire tomorrow what would you do?

44. Worse vacation?

45. Three places you would love to visit?

46. If you could do anything what would it be?

47. Super powers you wish you had?

48. Ideal romantic dinner?

49. Dumbest purchase you ever made?

50. What sporting event/concert/entertainment would you buy tickets to regardless of price?

51. Are you a neat freak?

52. Can’t stand being around people who_____?

53. How old do you want to live to?

54. Ever had a crush on a member of the same sex?

55. Most annoying habit?

56. Most embarrassing moment?

At last, remember the most important thing for Live Chat is to have fun! You might be surprised by what you learn about the other person. Don’t force anyone to answer a question they don’t want to and don’t pry deeper if they are not willing to talk about a certain subject. For more tips about conversation topics, please read: How to Talk to Girls Online on Chnlove reviews site.